


Ashes of The Order

by Calspinkponcho



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)
Genre: Cal Kestis - Freeform, Cal Kestis Needs a Hug, F/M, Jedi: fallen order, cal kestis x reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:49:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29572026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calspinkponcho/pseuds/Calspinkponcho
Summary: Two broken padawans and a dangerous secret.  Follow Cal and Y/n as they cross the galaxy, running from the empire, in search of a holocron that could rebuild the Jedi Council.A re-write of the original game Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order. I only own Jax!All rights go to LucasFilms
Relationships: Cal Kestis/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

The day starts the same as every day before has for the last 5 years. Get up, get dressed, eat whatever I find in the cupbard, go to work at the scrapping yards. I'm surprised I still force myself to wake up and do this, and I'm surprised I haven't just ended it all. This depressing planet was enough to drive even the most sane person over the edge. I went in search of my best friend on my lunch break. I ask the droid in charge and he says they're doing a special task and that they'd be back later. So I leave and eat alone. I can't shake the feeling that today is going to be the last "normal" day I have for a very long time.

I meet up with my best friend Cal and our friend Prauf at the end of the day. They are talking in hushed voices. Cal's ginger hair is plastered to his head from the rain, his poncho barely protecting him from the constant torrential downpour on this maker forsaken place. He shoots me a look as if to tell me not to ask. I've felt anxious the entire day and this didn't make it any better. We board the train and we find our seats. I lean my head back trying to clear the buzzing and the anxiety. I look over to see Cal passed out. I take the opportunity to find out exacty what was going on with him from Prauf. "There was an accident, I fell and all of a sudden everything was slow. Cal... he... he used the force." I internally smack my face. That idiot. The train stops abruptly. Cal's eyes shoot open as a pair of storm troopers enter the train. "Yeah, something's goin' on." Prauf says. "Everybody up, identification ready." One of the two walks between the aisles until they're parallel. "Move out and line up." the other commands. "It's probably just another contraband inspection." Proud says, trying to stay positive. We all walk out, seeing troopers in dark uniforms with the symbol of the empire. We line up, when two ships appear. Out of the first, a slender figure. Out of the second, a bulkier female, with tusks sticking from the bottom of her mask. The slender one moves in front of us. Cal looks terrified. "Is this all of them?" The slender one says mechanically. "Yes second sister." One of the troopers answers. She then faces us and begins speaking again. "We seek a dangerous fugitive." A pause. "This is no common anarchist, but a devotee of the treasonous Jedi Order." I look out of the corner of my eye to see Cal shaking. Kriff. They caught us.

The bulky female begins walking back and forth in front of us. She stops. "Failure to turn over this traitor will result in a charge of sedition. Turn yourself in or everyone present will face summary execution." The troopers aim their weapons at us and we back up in fear, some holding up their hands. Prauf takes a look at me and Cal. "I think it's time for someone to step forward." Cal makes a move to grab his arm but Prauf is already too far. "I, uh... I've been working on this heap a long time. Way before the war." He looks up and down the row of people. "We refit and rebuilt ships." Cal moves his hand slowly behind his back. Don't do it you dumbass. I think to myself. "Then came the empire", Prauf continues, "and engineers became scrappers." He turns and faces us again. "The workers... they just started getting worked." I see Cal holding his masters lightsaber now. Dammit Cal. "Prauf-" I hear him say quietly. Prauf cuts him off. "We all know the truth. We're just... too afraid to say it. To the empire, we're all just expendable." The one they called the second sister unsheathed her weapon and held it in front of Prauf. "Yes. You are." Then her light saber entered his chest. I let out a gasp. Cal leaps forward igniting his own weapon. "NO!" The other end of the second sisters saber lights up and meets Cal's. "Look at this. A lightsaber." She says in an almost amused voice. She spins her lightsaber and pushes Cal into the bulky woman. At this point I had pulled out my lightsaber and charge. "Another one." She pushes me to her partner and she dangles us over the edge. "Found the Jedi." Then we plummet into the abyss.

We're lucky that a train was below to catch our fall. "We need to run Y/n." I nod. We ran, knocking storm troopers out of our way, killing them if need be. Knocking blaster bolts back in their direction. We entered an opening. A ship began shooting at us and we ran for cover between the blasts. We run through cars again thinking we're safe. But we enter an open car again and the ship that was after us before was back. It shoots out the coupling of the car. We climb down, nearly falling to our deaths. "This is bad!" Cal yells. "Yeah, no kidding!" I scream back. We climb an overturned train car. "The only way is up."

As we exit the overturned car and the ship returns again, with no where to go I know this is the end. Suddenly a ship comes from no where and blasts it out of the sky. The hatch opens, revealing a woman with dark skin. "We're here to help!" She yells down at us. Cal tries to maintain his balance as he yells in response. "Who are you?" She shakes her head. "No time! Keep moving, we'll pick you up when we can!" The ship races off and we press forward. We continue to the front of the train, dodging blasters and electric batons. We quickly noticed that the train is no longer moving. Once we made it outside, we see a ship knock out the rails, causing us to slide forward losing our footing. We continue to slide, hitting cargo, we make it through the train cars as we approach the end of the train. We see the ship from earlier at the end. The ramp is open and the lady yells at us to jump. I make it on, and as Cal is pulling himself up, a blast shakes the ship and knocks him off balance. I scream as I see him fall. I lurch myself towards the edge, but a pair of strong arms pulls me back. I feel a sharp sting in my neck, then everything goes black.


	2. Chapter 2

_"Come on Y/n, I want to show you something!" A young ginger shakes awake a girl with y/h/c hair. "Go away Cal." The boy rolls his eyes. "Come on! Jax and I have been working on it for hours!" The girl sits up. "Fine, this better not be a waste of time. I need my sleep you know."_

I wake up with a start. Where the hell am I? I look to my right and see my lightsaber. And to the left of me a familiar face sleeps on a cot. I shake his shoulder. His eyes open and he wipes the sleep from them. He stands and I pull him into a hug. I thought I'd lost him last night. When we pull apart, I slap him. "What the hell did you get us into? Where are we?" He has the audacity to laugh. "We're going to rebuild the Jedi order." I feel my jaw drop. There was a knock on the door. "Breakfast is ready if you're hungry." My stomach grumbled at the thought of food.

When I walk out of the room, I see the woman from last night as well as a... Latero? The woman speaks first as we all sit down at the table. "Like I was saying to Cal last night, my name is Cere Junda, this is our captain, Greez Dritus." I heard a very loud and obnoxious yawn from behind me. "Can't forget me Cere." A dark-haired male walks out. Dank farrik. "Jax?!" He looks at me with a smirk. "Hey Y/n. Kestis." I look at Cal, his jaw is clenched. The air is suddenly heavy. He moves over to me and holds his arms out as if he wants me to hug him. "You're not getting a hug from me. The last time I saw you was in a cantina on Bracca. You just up and left. You don't deserve a hug from me." He backs away in surprise. I look back down at my food. I can't believe this.  
It's taking everything I have not to wring his neck.

After Cere breaks down what's going on, I retreat to the privy. I desperately need a shower. And new clothes. But I would have to settle for what I'm wearing now. There's a knock. I hear Cal's voice. "We're stopping on Tatooine to restock and I figured you'd want to come along." I open the door. I guess I'm getting new clothes after all. I walk out into the small living area. I see Jax, but he completely ignores me. Seeing him brought back a flood of memories. We all used to be so close. I don't know why I cared, he abandoned us. But I just want to know what we did for him to just up and leave when we swore to stay together, because there's safety in numbers. It's like all those nights when just him and I would stay up and talk. I forced the thoughts to leave my mind. This was his decision. I have Cal, I don't need him.

Greez makes us all sit as we left hyperspace. The lurch makes me sick to my stomach. We land on Tatooine. I walk out with Cal, and we make our way to the market. "Don't beat yourself up about Jax." I say, hoping to get rid of the silence between us. He let out a dry laugh. "I'm not worried about that ass. He made the decision to leave us behind. That's on him." I don't open my mouth for several minutes. "Did something happen between the two of you?" He stops abruptly. "I don't want to talk about it okay? Just drop it for kriff's sake." He barks at me. My gaze falls to the sand under our feet. I walk ahead without another word. "Y/n I-" I cut him off. "I'm dropping it Kestis." A look of shock crosses his face. I never call him by his last name. I keep walking forward.

We reach the market in silence. I feel bad for snapping at Cal but I can't bring myself to apologize after how he talked to me. I find a booth with women's clothes and buy a couple pairs of comfortable looking pants and some shirts, they throw in a poncho as well. Before I could pull my credits from my pocket someone throws a handful on the counter of the booth. I look over to see Cal. He gives me a silent look. "Uh... thanks?" He shrugs. "Don't mention it."

Once we were back to the ship, Cere states that we need to go to another planet. A hidden one that couldn't even be found on maps, so Cal could go and look for something or someone. We leap into hyperspace. I retreat to my room so I can be alone with my thoughts. I lay on the bed and close my eyes. Someone knocks on the door. I don't care and just pretend to be asleep. They knock again. And again. Then silence. I don't want to face Cal or Jax or anyone for that matter. I had half the mind to tell both of them to leave me alone until they worked out their problems. But I still want Cal's comfort...

I wake up before we leave hyperspace, preparing myself for the stop. We land on a beatiful lush planet, more green than I'd seen since I was youngling. I step out to breathe in the fresh air when I feel a presence beside me. I turn and look up into the green eyes of my best friend. "I'm sorry Y/n. I shoudn't have been so rude earlier." I smile up at him. "It's fine, I get it. Sensitive subject." He smiles and pulls me into a hug, he smells like droid grease and soap. I pull away, looking at his face. I didn't realize how handsome he was when he wasn't covered in dirt. I look away so he doesn't notice the red creeping across my cheeks, I gaze out at the beautiful green planet. "Be careful Cal." I say before turning and going back into the ship.

I decide to take the time that Cal is gone as an opportunity to take a shower and clean myself up. I walk past Jax who was sitting on the couch tapping away at a holopad. He peers up at me and it looks like he wants to say something but he never does. I lock myself in the privy and turn on the water. I step into the shower, water washes over me and relaxes me. I massage the knots in my back, letting the water wash away the anxiety and fears that built up over the last few days.

After I get out, I change into the clothes I got at the market and make my way to my room. right before I open the door, I hear someone clear their throat. "Uh...y/n?" I turn at the sound of Jax's voice. "What do you want." He looks down sheepishly. He doesn't speak for a moment. "I... uh... missed you." I don't know what to say so I just shrug "Sure you did." He seems hurt by what I say, but what do I care? He didn't care when he abandoned me. I turn and head to my room, locking the door behind me.


	3. Chapter 3

_"Focus Padawan, you won't get anywhere as a Jedi if you keep getting distracted." A sigh. "I'm sorry master" A woman chuckles. "Don't apologize. Just breathe and let all of your thoughts pass"_

A knock jolts me from my slumber. "Cal's on his way back." I rub the sleep from my eyes and make my way out to the main area so he can tell us what he learned. "Oh BD-1, this is Greez. Hey Greez!" The Latero sputters. "What is that!?" The little droid that followed Cal in lets out a beep as he jumps on the couch. "Get off my sofa! Get off my sofa! Go! Get outta here! Get out!" He chases him off and the little droid hides behind Cal. "That is BD-1. He's with us." Greez let's out an exasperated breath. "I don't care who he's with. Do you know how hard it is to get oil stains out of patoli-weave fabric?" Cere rolls her eyes. "Not really." Cal says quietly. The latero makes a disgusted sound. "Oh I hope you found something better out there than this droid." Why did he hate him so much already? He's pretty cute. "Oh calm down Greez. He did," Cere cuts in. "Tell us Cal." Cal seats himself. "The Vault was built by an ancient civilization called the Zeffo. A Jedi named Eno Cordova hid something inside of it." Cere steps forward. "What did he hide inside?" Cal turns towards her. "A holocron from the archives." He pauses briefly. "It contains a list of force sensitive children." Cere let's out a breath as her face lights up. "The next generation of Jedi. I knew it! Ah Cordova you old fool." Cal looks confused. "You knew him?" Cere is smiling now "Yes. A long time ago. I was his apprentice. Cordova was a loner. That little droid and I are probably the only ones that know about Bogano." BD-1 perks up. "Hold on, wait a minute it, wait a minute. A holo-what?" Greez asks. "A holocron. It stores information but only accessible to Jedi." Cere explains. "Hang on, I think I have one around here." She heads to the kitchen and goes through a few cabinets and brings out a glowing blue cube with gold etching. She hands it to Cal. "Use the force." He takes it and holds it flat in his hand. He closes his eyes in concentration. The cube lifts from his hand and opens, revealing a hologram. "This is Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. I regret to report that both our Jedi Order and the Republic have fallen." The holocron closes and falls gently back into Cal's hand. "With that list of force-sensitives, we could rebuild the Jedi Order and defeat the empire. Greez raises his four sets of arms. "Okay, no problem. Let's go get it." Cal cuts him off before he can walk away. "Except the Holocron is hidden deep inside the Vault and to get to it we have to follow Cordova's path. He mentioned something about the planet Dathomir and a Zeffo homeworld." Greez sounds almost impatient now. "Alright well where are we going? I'm just asking 'cause I was thinking of maybe making some food." Cal walks back over to Cere. "Look before we do anything, I need to know something." He leans down. "How come you're no longer a Jedi?" Cere looks down. "I had an experience that... changed my perspective. So I cut myself off from the force." Cal sits down. "But you still wanna rebuild the order?" There's a short pause before Cere speaks again. "I believe that rebuilding the order is the best chance we have against the empire. What do you believe?" Cal looks away in thought. "I believe I can't keep hiding from the empire, so I don't really have a choice." His voice is laced with a dry humor. "Cal as long as you're alive, you will always have a choice. Are you with us?" He looks at the droid, and at me. I nod. "We're in." BD-1 beeps in agreement. "Dathomir or Zeffo, it's your choice." Greez says pointing a thumb in Cals direction. "Set course for Zeffo."

I decide to sit on the couch while everyone talks about the plan for Zeffo. I feel left out but don't pay it any mind. Cal comes over and sits next to me. "You want to come with me on Zeffo?" I think for a second, pondering what would be best. If I go with Cal I won't be stuck here with Jax. But I could also hide in my room and at least try to meditate. "I think I'll wait here, you have BD-1 to keep you company. I'll go with you next time, I promise. But I need to try to meditate." He nods understandingly. Next time we're at Bogano we can practice fighting and I'll help you meditate." I look into his vibrant green eyes. I feel my face grow warm so I break eye contact and pretend to be interested in something on my pants. "We're leaving hyper drive kids." Greez says, breaking the awkward silence.

When we land on Zeffo, I walk down the landing pad to get some fresh air. It's so damn cold. I hear someone walking down behind me so I turn. "I figured you'd want to see me off." Cal says almost smugly. I shrug. "I don't have to if you don't want me to." He smiles. "Nah, I want to tell my best friend good bye in case I meet a horrible fate." I roll my eyes. "You better come back in one piece you jack-ass." He barks out a laugh. "That's the Y/n I like to see." My stomach twists. _Why the hell is this happening?!_ I move to give him a hug. "Be safe Cal." He looks down at me. "Only because you asked me nicely." I stay outside of the ship until I can no longer see him.


	4. Chapter 4

I regret not going. I was going to be bored the entire time he's gone. I plop myself onto the couch, trying to think of ways to occupy myself. I could always talk to Jax. I shook the thought from my head. That was a can of worms I wasn't ready to open. I decide to monitor communications with Cere. The storm made it nearly impossible for the comms to work. After several minutes of fine tuning, it was up and running. "Cal can you hear me?" Cere asks through the headset she's wearing. Static crackles. "The empire, they found Zeffo." Cere is quiet for a moment. "If they were following the Mantis, would would have been swarmed already." More static crackles as Cal responds. "Could they be looking for the tombs?" She considers his question. "Let's hope not. Just got our comms working. I'll try the same workaround to crack into theirs."

We begin trying to break into the Empires communications. All we hear is static, and very small snippets of stormtrooper banter. We finally decrypt their system. We spend several minutes listening for any idea as to what they want on this icy wasteland. "I see the fugitive—" a stormtrooper begins, but is shortly cut off by what I know to be a lightsaber. "Y/n, can we talk?" A voice says from my right. I turn and find Jax looking at me, his dark hair still damp from an apparent shower. "I'm busy right now." I say sharply. "Y/n, I've got it under control, I'll let you know if I find anything out." _Curse this woman._ I get out of my seat and move to the couch. I push my hair back. "What do you want Jax?" He looks down at his feet. "I want to apologize for how I've been acting towards you. It's unnecessary. There's just... things that are too complicated to explain right now." I blink, taking in what I'd just been told. "Okay." He looks at me flabbergasted. "That's all you have to say? 'Okay.' What kind of bantha crap is that Y/n?" I stand up. "You don't get to be angry at me Jax Henis. You up and left without so much as a goodbye. I think it's pretty justified that my only response is 'okay' because it's more than you deserve. You're lucky I haven't stuck my lightsaber up your—" "ENOUGH." Cere shouts. "We are supposed to be working together. You can argue another time." Jax rolls his eyes and storms back towards the back end of the ship. I imagine myself choking the life out of him. The anger that I'd been holding inside, bubbling towards the surface. I let out an sharp exhale, pushing down my emotions yet again.

After my confrontation with Jax, I decide to try and meditate to get my mind off of things. I sit down on my bed, closing my eyes, resting my hands in my lap. I take in slow breathes, clearing my mind of any thoughts. I venture into my subconscious, letting the force take over. I reach out, trying to see if I can still sense those around me. I see nothing. _Failure. That's all you are._ The little voice in my head speaks. I try to ignore the thoughts intruding my meditative state, but they keep coming. _You're a lousy excuse for a Jedi_. I open my eyes, trying to focus on anything to distract myself. There really is nothing on this ship that can distract me. I make a mental note to go with Cal from now on, regardless of how rusty I am, I can't be alone with my thoughts. I lay down, settling for more sleep.

_I'm running through the maintenance corridors, trying to keep up with my much faster male friends. We have to reach the escape pods before they catch us. I hear blasters bouncing off metal walls. We're almost there. Cal's master Jaro Tapal told us to run and don't look back. I try to keep up as my lungs are burning. We make it to the escape pods. They're shooting at Tapal as Cal fights to open the pods. The door whooshes open and we all clamber inside. Cal screams as his master falls to the ground in the pod. The door closes._ _Cal clings to his dying mentor_ _._

I wake to the sound of blasters and explosions. I rush out to see an imperial AT-ST shooting at the Mantis. I see a flash of red hair running back and forth between its legs, a blue lightsaber slashing at it. Small grenades land near him as he dodges, nearly running out of time. I ignite my own saber and leap into action. Y/f/c and blue dinging and slashing, trying to take out the machine. After what seems like a pointless attempt the legs finally give out. It crashes to the ground as we leap out of the way. The pilot climbs out and starts blasting. I reflect the bolts. I push my way towards him, trying to close the distance enough that I could get a good hit in to end the fighting. He stops so his weapon can cool down and I take the opportunity, I stab my lightsaber in his direction, it passes through his gut. I pull it out and swing it at his body. It passes through and he falls to the ground. I cut off my weapon and try to catch my breath, shocked at what I've just done. Cal is at my side now, and we walk back to the Mantis.


	5. Chapter 5

"Nice work out there kids. Hey you got some real moves on ya! Just tell me that this visit wasn't for nothin'." Cal fiddles with some of controls. "I found the tomb of a Zeffo Sage. They definitely used the force." He turns his seat around and leans forward. My stomach flutters. "An advanced civilization of force wielders who mysteriously vanished... no wonder Master Cordova became so obsessed with them. What else did you find?" Cere questions. "Before they disappeared, they journeyed to the planet Kashyyyk." Greez groans. "Cordova had a Wookiee friend named Tarfful." Cal explains "Maybe we can find him?" He's cut off by the captain. "Kashyyyk. Look, things are really bad down there. The Empire's muscling in on those Wookiees big time." Cal stands. "Then we better get ready for a fight" and lightly punches Greez's top arm. He has a cocky smile on his face. He hops down from the control center and walks towards the center of the ship. I hadn't seen him this sure of himself since we were on Bracca. I follow behind him and sit on the couch as he pours himself a drink. "I think this lifestyle suits you. Fighting that walker seems to have made you more confident." Cere couldn't be more right. _That confidence is hot._ I feel my face grow warm as I realize what I just thought. "So, how are you holding up?" Cere asks. "Well I took on an AT-ST." I say with a laugh. Cere smiles and looks at Cal. "You mean with the force?" He asks. "Yes, with the force. I know you said it could be overwhelming." Overwhelming was putting it lightly. I hadn't used the force since we fled. Cal walks down to where we are. He has a new energy about him, a new swagger to the way he walks. He pushes his hands through his hair. "Haven't gotten myself killed yet," he says with a shrug. "Rather not talk about it." Cere nods. "Yeah, well I understand." She sits on the couch, Cal follows suit and sits next to me. "Why'd you choose to stop using the force?" He asks inquisitively. Cere looks down for a moment. "When the purge started and our clone troops turned against us, my Padawan and I took several younglings and went into hiding." She says with a hint of sadness in her voice. "But... we didn't last long. Imperial patrol was about to discover our location so..." she stops and takes a breath. "I tried to lure them away from my Padawan, Trilla. She stayed behind with the younglings. But they caught me. And they tortured me. They wanted to know about the others, how many were left. But mostly they wanted to know about Cordova. And where he went." She had her eyes closed now. "But you escaped." She opens her eyes. "Yeah, it was a prison riot. I saw my opportunity and I took it. But they almost broke me." She says the last part much quieter. "And I am not the same as I was Cal." He leans forward. "Your padawan... did she survive?" Cere looks like she's contemplating her answer. "No." She gets up to walk away and stops. "But that's why we can't give up. We can't let the sacrifice of those closest to us be for nothing."

We stop on Bogano to have a break from running from the empire even if it was just for a day. I dedicated most of the day to training , trying to refresh any of my childhood lessons. Cal joins me so I have someone to train with. Cal starts to take his shirt off. "What are you doing?" He looks at me with a smirk. "It's getting hot, you can take yours off too if you want." I roll my eyes. His shirt peels off to reveal a very well sculpted form. I don't remember him looking so fit, but working on the scrap yards on Bracca probably had something to do with it. To avoid distraction I throw myself into sparring, parrying any jab he makes my way. I don't beat him once, much to my disappointment. I wish I could wipe the smug look off his face. It was starting to get dark, so we decided to go one last round before going back to the Mantis. I start to get frustrated, which made me sloppier. "Y/n, stop." I huff out a breathe. "Why?" He has the audacity to laugh. "Because you're getting mad." I roll my eyes and go back into my fighting stance. He shuts off his light saber and starts walking towards the mantis. "Come on, we have a long day tomorrow. We need to rest." I hesitate, I think of knocking him onto his face, but eventually follow him. He goes into the kitchen to get us both a drink. I take it, enjoying the coolness on my tongue. "Dibs on a shower." I say, smirking as I set my drink down. "Not if I get their first." Cal replies, an impish glint in his eyes. I book it towards the shower, I reach the door and right as I open it, I involuntarily freeze. I'm unable to move as he walks in front of me, taunting me just by moving. I force myself free, pushing him into the wall, my forearm across his chest. I look into his eyes, seeing something I'd never seen before. This look lights something inside of me and I do what any sane person would do. I kiss him. It's his turn to freeze. I break away and open the door to the privy. Locking myself inside. _Kriff. KRIFF_ _._ I can't even look at myself in the mirror as I undress and get into the shower. It doesn't help that I was suddenly left alone with my thoughts. And I don't like where some of these thoughts were going.

I barely sleep that night, the events from earlier constantly replaying in my head. I hear the door whoosh open. I close my eyes, pretending to be asleep. Footsteps approach my bed. Pressure on the side causes me to shift ever so slightly. I feel a warm body behind me. Based on the smell, it's Cal. "Y/n..." he whispers. He lets out a sigh and is quiet again. I feel a kiss on the back of my head. My face grows warm. I drop the act, turning to face him. He looks at me, yearning crossing his face then quickly disappearing. "Cal I'm sorry." He furrows his brows in confusion. "Don't worry about it." He lays on his back and looks at the ceiling. "Go to sleep, we'll talk tomorrow. Goodnight." I turn and face to wall, dreading that conversation. "Yeah, goodnight."


	6. Chapter 6

I'm startled awake by a loud knock on my door. "Y/n, you need to get up. We're nearing Kashyyyk and you need to eat before you leave." I rub my eyes trying to wake myself up a little more. I stretch then get out of bed.

I seat myself in the dining area, eating what was left over since everyone ate while I was still sleeping. I watch as Cal takes a seat next to Greez. I steady myself as we leave hyperspace, I would never quite be used to it. I look out the window to see several imperial ships. "Woah. Tell me we're not running that blockade." Cal says. "Oh only as a last resort." Cere replies. "I've rigged the Mantis' transponder to transmit Imperial signals. Hey Greez? Keep your signature low and act like we belong" Greez nods. "Just like Bracca. No sweat." As I watch, Cal reaches up to adjust something and Greez slaps his hand. I let out a giggle. "I don't need another set of hands. Just please keep keep your eyes on the scanner. Please." Cal moves his attention towards the scanner. "Alright, alright."

A few minutes pass by as we slowly make our way past the imperial blockade. I had gone to my room to change into something that I could easily maneuver in. "I don't see anything." I hear Cal say. "They're preoccupied with something on the ground. We're clear." We speed past the ships at last. My heart breaks as I look out at the planet below. "That doesn't look good." Cal remarks. "The empire is devouring Kashyyyk for its natural resources. Wookiees have been enslaved. Or displaced." Cere says, disgust and hatred dripping from her words. After several quiet moments a TIE fighter and a second ship speed past us. "That was a close one Kid! Aren't you supposed to be watching the monitors?!" Greez exclaims. Guerrilla Fighters! Wookiees and off-worlders ambushing an Imperial convoy." Cere reports what she's hearing in comms. "Walkers approaching their position." Cal turns. "Tarfful could be with them." Greez shakes his head. "Tarfful could be anywhere! Like deep in the ground. Like we're gonna be if we get caught up in the battle down there." Cal faces him. "We don't have any other options and..." a pause, "They'll die without our help." Both Greez and Cere look in his direction. "So what's your plan?" He stands. "Sabotage." As he hops down from his seat, he says "We used to scrap walkers on Bracca. I'll just hack one." Greez barks out a laugh. "Get a load of the kid! He thinks we're back in the clone wars!" Cere smirks and tells Greez "Captain, get us near those walkers." Cal walks over to the opening. "Those walkers double as troop transports so once you get inside be careful." He shoots me a look and winks. "See you on the other side Y/n." That ass, I could kill him. "Time for No Freeze Greeze to work his magic." The air coming from the open ramp is cold. "Hey, do me a favor. Stay alive down there?" Cal grins. "I'll add it to the plan." He makes his way down the ramp. "Alright, if you're jumpin' you better do it now kid!" I hear inaudible words from the entrance. Cere looks down then closes the ramp. He better not doing anything to get himself killed.

I move to the front of the ship and place myself into the seat where Cal was previously sitting. I look down into the water hoping I can see his red hair. I panic is an explosion goes off. I see movement and look at the walker nearest to us. My stomach does a back flip as I watch him climb his way across the vine on the outer shell of the machine. I hope he knows there's a storm trooper at the top. I close my eyes as the blaster bolts just barely miss him. Right as he reaches the top, a blaster shoots the stormtrooper that I had hoped he'd seen. He jumps down into the hole in the top and disappears.

After several minutes I see the guns of the walled move away from the rebels and face other walkers. I take this a sign that he made it in. As it advances, he begins shooting at the base. Pride swells through me as he takes out troopers and an AT-ST. He clears a landing pad and a ship firing at him. The ship he's firing at begins falling forward and crashes right into the walker. I let out a gasp, fearing the worst. Greez moves the mantis around towards the landing pad looking for a clearing to land the Mantis. As we near the ground I see Cal walking with a man. He waves at us and relief washes over me. We all walk down the ramp as Cal is having a conversation with the man. "Cere, Greez, Y/n. This is Saw." Cal explains. "How ya doin'?" Saw looks at us and back at Cal. "What do you want with Tarfful?" Cal shifts his weight. "Jedi business." The man shakes his head. "The Jedi are dead." He says. "Not all of them." Cere cuts in. Cal pulls out his lightsaber and I follow suit, a smug look crossing my face. "You get those off a corpse?" He says incredulously. "My master gave it to me." Cal says. "I've had mine since I was a youngling." I say. BD chirps. Saw looks almost impressed "This pad supports an Imperial Refinery that runs on Wookiee slave labor. Intel suggest that some of the captives there are guerrilla fighters." Cal steps forward. "I should help them. One of them might know how to contact Tarfful." Saw nods. "It's possible." Greez cuts in "Woah, wait a minute, hold on, wait a minute. The Mantis works wonders, I mean it's a great ship, excellent pilot, but it is not built for close support." Cere looks down at him. "We'll stay here and monitor Imperial transmissions. With a bit of luck we'll intercept any distress calls." Saw looks at her. "'Preciate it. My lieutenants and I will scout ahead to prepare the attack. Join us when you're ready." He walks away and gives someone a command.

Cal speaks to Greez. "Glad to see you're alright." Greez places one set of his hands on his hips. "Yeah yeah, good to see you too. This place is a dump." Cere interrupts the Latero's tirade. "Your plan worked. And now you want us to follow Saw?" I couldn't help but want to take her side. "What do you think of Saw's plan?" He questions. She shrugs. "He's fighting a losing battle. I doubt freedom for the Wookiees is his only goal." I silently praise her. "He seems trustworthy." I hope he doesn't see me roll my eyes, because right now it's hard not to control my irritation. "He might prove to be, but there's more going on here than we know." I was starting to like this woman more and more. "And don't forget, the empire fights dirty. Watch yourself in that refinery kids." Greez adds. It's endearing that he cares, even if he denies that he does. "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind."

We make our to a trench, passing Partisans and freedom-fighters and overhearing their conversations. Cal finds a hidden entrance and cuts the wires blocking it. "Oh look a workbench!" This boy and his weird habits. He jumps down and walks towards the work bench when the biggest spider I have EVER seen jumps from no where. It pounces on him. I scream out too late. I ignite my weapon and try to leap onto the hair abdomen of this behemoth arachnid. It lets out a squeal as I pierce it's flesh. It flings me off and I just barely manage to land on my feet. Cal tries his best to swing at its gleaming black eyes, while I go for the legs. It's sharp mandibles clash together and it spits out a nasty green web. I dodge before it can entrap me. I slice at its from leg, causing it to fall forward. Cal jumps and lands on its back like I had before. He slashes right between is head and abdomen, causing the two body parts to fall away from each other.

I wipe my hands on my pants, getting the slime off of them. I look over to see BD jump onto the workbench as Cal pulls out some tools. "How much current can you conduct?" the droid beeps. "Well with this transformer, I bet you can short circuit Imperial tech." I tap my foot impatiently. "Can we get going? I really don't want to get attacked by another 8 legged freak." Cal laughs. He walks in front of me as we make our way back into the trench. We reach a gap too big for us to jump over. I look to see BD has already found a transformer and was charging it to make a ramp move for us to run across. "Nice job BD!"

The further we walk the muggier it gets. Bugs buzz in my ear as sweat drops from my forehead. We reach a vine leading to a building. Cal swings first and reaches the ledge. I follow behind him, using my momentum to propel me onto the ledge above. I slip, landing on my back next to Cal. He laughs at me. "Jedi, over here!" We hear a voice yell. He offers me a hand to pick me up, but I slap it away. I stand up and look in the direction of the voice. Cal is already wall running to the top ledge to meet the partisan. I grunt as I follow suit. We run for cover as TIE fighters pass over head. Saw waves us over. When we get over to him he passes a pair of macrobinoculars to Cal. "Imperial sap refinery lies dead ahead." Cal looks into them, observing the land before us. "What does the Empire want with tree sap?" As he looks over at the refinery, Saw continues talking. "Nothing good, they refine the sap into a powerful compound and they're rushing to expand production." Cal hands the macrobinoculars to me. I look through them and see a group of stormtroopers pushing a Wookiee down at gun point. "We have to stop them." I crouch next to Saw and Cal. "That's the plan. We don't know their endgame but they've spread themselves too thin. This map we've recovered proves it." He hands Cal a small drive and he inserts it into BDs drive slot. BD projects the map out in front of us. "These refineries double as brutal prison camps. We'll use those cutters to create a distraction while you take your lightsabers and free the Wookiees inside. We'll need their help to defeat the empire." Saw stands and pulls a grappling hook from his belt. "Understood." He shoots the grappling hook and propels himself upward. "Watch yourself in there." Cal stands and lets BD climb onto his shoulder. "You hear that? He said he needs my help." I roll my eyes. "He needs our help."


	7. Chapter 7

As we walk silently through the jungle pathway, I couldn't help but think of the night before. As if he could sense it, Cal slows down and walks beside me. "So, you want to talk about what that was last night?" My face grows warm. "No not really." Cal lets out a chuckle. "That's a shame, I might have asked for another." My face grew warmer. "Keep it up Kestis and your head will be on a pike." He feigns sadness. "Forgive me, fair one. I'm just so taken aback by your beauty and charm." I snort. "Don't get used to it. It's against rules of the Jedi to form romantic attachments." He's silent for a second. "Well... if we're rebuilding the order maybe we can change the rules?" I'm genuinely speechless at his proposition. He speaks again. "If it's in the force's will for it to happen then there's nothing to be done about it otherwise. You can't fight the force, or destiny." I couldn't believe what he was saying. He was so set on following the Jedi code for so long and now it's like he wants to throw it away. Stop fighting it, you know it's what you want. "Maybe. Right now we can't think of ourselves. We have Wookiees to set free." He smiles at me. "That's what I've always admire about you. You've always been so selfless. So caring." I blush again. "Thanks." I mutter. "It's gonna happen again, don't even try to deny it." I shove his arm playfully. "Your head's gonna look real nice on a pike."

We walked in almost complete silence, BD's occasional chirps and beeps and Cal talking back. It was endearing to see him to vulnerable with the little droid. I couldn't help but think about what could happen if we did change the rules. Could I really have a future with him? If we find the holocron, if we finish this quest, could we...? Where were all of these thoughts coming from? "Y/n? Are you okay? You seem distracted." Cal asks me, concern crossing his face. "Oh, uh... yeah." I answer, rubbing my hand against the back of my neck. "Just thinking." He let's out a breath laugh. "Do too much of that and your head might explode." I laugh dryly "We should be so lucky." His smile drops. "Don't be so hard on yourself. You know you can always talk to me right?" I nod. "Let's stop for a few, we've been walking for a while. Here, I'll even watch guard and kill any giant spiders or lava bugs." He gets into an exaggerated defensive stance. It brings a smile to my face, I miss him being this goofy. It's almost as if being away from Bracca lifted a black cloud off of his shoulders. He finally gets to stop hiding. It's like we're kids again. Almost. "I'm not sitting here, it's too muddy." I say in a faux prissy voice, sticking my nose in the air. "Of course my lady! Allow me." He swoops me up, holding me with one arm around my back and the other under my legs. I unconsciously wrap my arms around his neck to keep myself from falling. I didn't realize how close to his face I was. Not again, have self-control. I think to myself. Forget self control. And I planted my lips on his. He moves his mouth against mine, nipping at my lips. I moan into his mouth, tangling my hands into his hair. We're interrupted by a fearful sounding BD. Cal puts me down and run his hand through his hair. He grins like mad. "I told you it would happen again." I face palm. We both jerk our heads when we hear a twig snapping. We duck behind a bush and wait. A stormtrooper. It's just one, by himself. Maybe he's lost? I decide to use this to my advantage. I hand Cal my lightsaber and run from the bush as if I'm being chased. "Oh thank goodness! I thought I was going to die out here! I'm terribly lost and—" The storm trooper points his blaster at me. "W-what are you doing?" Fake fear in my voice. "Precautions ma'am. State your business." This act was getting old but I keep playing along. "I was out with my friend when a Wyyyscokk captured my companion." He doesn't seem to be buying it. At least I was buying him enough time for Cal to sneak behind him. "Come on man, at least play along." He centers the blaster right at my chest as my light saber soars through the air and I catch it mid-flight. I ignite it as soon as it reaches my hand and jab it straight into his chest. "He was no fun."

After more walking we finally find the Imperial refinery. Smoke billowing from the top covered the sky in dark grey. We find an entrance, at the same time there's a commotion, I assume it's the freedom-fighters turning on the cutters. A squad of stormtroopers stands beside the entrance. "Over there, one of the cutters turned on. Are they running some kind of drill?" One of them says. Another responds, "Maybe. Think we should call it in?" The trooper from before speaks again. "That'd be a breach of protocol. If there's a disturbance their squad should call it in." Another one speaks. "Yeah, better do this by the book." At least they care about their protocols I guess. Cal is already moving to take on the group of 5. I know he has it handled, but part of me wants in on the action. One of the troopers throws a bomb in Cal's direction. I take this as my call to action. I sneak around take him out before he even knew I was there. Once they had all been taken care of, we walk over to the entrance. Before we could get the door open, something grabs Cal's attention. He walks over in the direction I had snuck around to get the trooper that tried to explode him. He picks up a helmet and inhales a sharp breath. "Wookiee warriors left this. They used this place as a hideout in their battle against the Empire." I often forget that Cal has psychometry, and that he's able to sense echos left in the force. Something very rare among Jedi. We circle back around to the entrance. As the door opens we see an Imperial Astrodroid. He slices it before it has a chance to relay any messages. As if they already knew we were here, several stormtroopers with electric batons came running our way. We swiftly take care of them, running towards the next door. When the door opens, we see a storm trooper that we had never seen before. Dressed in all black, he wields a staff electrified on both ends. He tears down two partisans with ease. We make a move to run but it's too late. He's seen us. "A Jedi. This is what I've trained for." I ignite my light saber. "Ah, two Jedi. Even better." We try our best to stay close, leaving little opening for him to get between us. He makes the first swing with his staff and I block it with my weapon. The force of his blow nearly knocks me off my feet. Cal sneaks behind him to get a hit in but he's not fast enough. He uses the force to push him but the trooper digs his staff into the ground. I don't think we're going to make it out of this. His next swing hits me square on my side. I feel a crack, and smell burning flesh. My vision goes blurry as I fall to the ground. I see bits and pieces of what happens next as I slip in and out of consciousness. Cal finally buries his lightsaber into the chest of the trooper. Rage is clear across his face. The last thing I see is Cal running over and falling on his knees beside me.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: non-consensual touching, rapey behavior

_"Master Hydal is dead, I can feel it." The young girl says. "I could feel her presence before, but now there's nothing." The red haired boy sits beside her. "It'll be okay, what we need to do now is be strong. That's what Master Tapal and Master Hydal would want." The child shook her head. "I know. I just don't get it. Why would they betray us like that? They're supposed to protect us." The dark haired boy sits with them. "We'll figure it out, we're smart. We just have to stay hidden and stick together."_

I awake to the whir of an engine and a sharp pain in my left side. I look around to see I'm back on the Mantis. How did I get back here? I don't understand. I try to sit up but my whole body aches. I wince, laying back down in defeat. Where is Cal, where is everyone. I hear the door whoosh open as Jax walks in. He's carrying a glass of orange liquid and a stim canister. If I didn't feel like I'd been hit by a speeder, I would have given him a nasty look and sent him out. He sets the drink and stim on the bed side table. "You've been out for two days." I blink, but don't speak. He slowly sits on the edge of my bed and pulls the hem of my shirt up to replace the bacta bandage that was already there. "I'm tired of Kestis acting like you're his. You'll never be his. You're going to be mine." I look at him in confusion. "Don't think I didn't see that little show last night. 'Oh Cal, race me to the shower.' It made me sick to my stomach. You do it again, I'll kill him." He pulls my shirt up higher exposing my breast to him. He gropes me as he plants a hard kiss on my lips, my body is in too much pain for me to resist. He lets go and takes the stim from the table, jabbing it into my shoulder. I groan in pain. The pain in my side dulls somewhat but I still ache. He finally gets up and leaves. Before closing the door, he looks at me. "Don't forget what I said."

Jax's words ring through my head as I lay in my bed. I needed to tell someone. I couldn't tell Cal, if he knew he would probably run his lightsaber through him and call it a day. I was afraid Cere wouldn't believe me and Greez wouldn't understand. I swallow my fears and walked out into the lounge area. I was relieved to see Cere, but also terrified. "Uh, Cere?" I say uneasily. She looks up. "Yes y/n? How are you feeling? " I look at the floor. "I'll be fine, I think. But do you think we could talk? In private?" She looks confused. "Of course, what is it?" I look around in fear that Jax or Cal would be listening. "Who else is here?" She gives me another confused look. "Just us and Greez, Jax just left and Cal is speaking with the Wookiees. Is everything okay?" I shake my head. "No not really. When I woke up and Jax brought me a stim, he..." I hesitate. should I really tell her? "He what?" I swallow. "He threatened me. He thinks there's something between me and Cal and he threatened to kill Cal because 'I'm his.' and he touched me.” The words fall from my mouth as Cere processes what I've just said. "Okay, just calm down. Are you okay? He didn't hurt you did he?" I shake my head. "I'll kick him off this ship right now." I think for a minute "No, it's not necessary. I don't want Cal to know." She nods solemnly. "Well is there something between you two?" My face burns. "I don't know, I mean we kissed but... I don't know. It's against the Jedi way. And after Jax's threat, I'm scared." She thinks for a minute. "I'll kick him off the ship, if you want. We can leave him on some backwater planet somewhere." I'm taken aback. I toy with the idea, a chance at being free from his looming stares and his presence in general. "We don't have a reason too." I end up saying. "We have plenty reason to." She says bitterly.

I decide to get a shower to try and clear my head, and make the aching all over my body go away and wash Jax's touch off of me. As I stand under the water, Cal's words rang through my head. Maybe we could change the rules. Maybe I did want him. I knew I needed him but I thought it was platonic, we've known each other since we were kids. I don't know how Jax picked up on that though, when I hadn't even realize it myself. And now he was threatening to kill Cal. All because he wanted me. It suddenly hit me that maybe that's why he left us on Bracca, because he knew I didn't want him, or because Cal wanted me and he knew. This was all too much for one day.

Cere tells Greez to set course for Bracca, the same place I'd lived for years, the place where Jax abandoned us, the place where we were going to abandon him. Only he didn't know that's where we were going. We landed in a spot hidden from sight, in case the Empire had been monitoring the planet since they found us out.

Greez calls us for dinner and we all sit down, I take my place between Cere and Jax, directly in front of Cal "Cal, if you hadn't been there after that trooper zapped me I'd probably be dead." I say, batting my eyelashes at him, hoping Jax sees. Out of the corner of my eye, I see his Jaw clench. "It's no problem Y/n, you should thank Greez for flying the Mantis to pick you up." Jax let's out a disgusted sound. "Could you two stop? I'm trying to eat and it's hard to have an appetite when you're making eyes at each other." I turn my head towards him. "Sounds like someone jealous." I say sweetly. "Never in a hundred years." He makes eye contact with me, telling me otherwise. "Is that why you forced yourself on me earlier? Why you touched me? Because you don't want me?" He looks at me in disbelief as Cal drops his fork. Greez chokes on his food. "What the hell are you talking about?" Jax says in shock, but I know it's fake. "She's crazy, she must have hit her head because I didn't even go in her room." I laugh. "Oh no, you did because the drink you brought me is still on my bedside table. The empty stim you jammed into my shoulder is there too." He gives me an incredulous look. "You guys don't actually believe her right? I've been running errands the whole time." He says trying to deflect the conflict and put the blame on me. "You've been trying to lead me on this whole time." He begins shouting. "I saw you go into her room." Cere says coolly. I smirk. "You're caught, nice try though. Your stim cleared up any 'brain damage' I might have had." Beside me, Cal was fuming. I place a hand on his arm. But before I could have any effect, Jax was on the floor, grabbing at his throat struggling for air. In an instant Cal was up, dragging him by his collar to the opening of the ship. He presses the button and the ramp slides down. We all rush to the entrance to watch what was going to happen, ready to intervene if need be. Cal throws him to the soggy ground. His lightsaber is ignited, ready to strike. I'd never seen him so angry. Jax stands, putting his hands out in front of him. "You're lucky you still have hands right now. I have half the mind to cut them off." I was expecting Jax to grab his own lightsaber, but I knew he lost it at the Jedi temple when everything fell apart. He picks himself up out of the mud. "I'll have her for myself eventually Kestis, no matter how much you fight for her and protect her. She will be mine, even if I have to kill you for her." With those last words he walks away, leaving the Mantis behind. Relief washes over me as Cal turns and walks back up the ramp of the Mantis. "Greez head to Bogano, I think we all need a break." I couldn't agree more.

We land on Bogano right before dusk, the sky slowly turning orange. Cal and I take a walk, leaving the previous events in the past, even though the words still flowed through my head. He seemed like he'd stop at nothing to get me. But I felt relieved to finally be away from him. We sat on a patch of grass, staring the at sky as it got darker, it was golden, with orange and purple and yellow. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I looked at Cal, the setting sun hit his hair, making it look like it was on fire. He must have sensed me staring because he turned his head and looked in my eyes. I couldn't say a word. He looked like he wanted to kiss me again, but he restrained himself. "Are you gonna be okay?" He asks quietly. "I think I'll be fine. I'm just shaken up. I feel gross." He meets my eyes. "What did he tell you?" I sigh. "He told me that I belong to him. That he would kill you if we kissed again. I... it scared me Cal. I don't know what I feel, I need you and I always have and I used to think it was platonic but now, after our kiss, since we started on this crusade to bring back the Jedi order, I think it's—" he cuts me off. "Y/n, breathe. It's okay. I know." He cups my cheek with his slightly roughened, callused hand. I lean into the warmth. "If I see him again, he's dead. I should have killed him the moment you said he touched you. The thought of him doing that just... it makes my blood boil Y/n." I open my eyes and look at him again. "He's gone now." He laughs dryly. "You know, we could always test the theory about him killing me if we kissed again." I roll my eyes. "We already did on Kashyyyk." He chuckles with humor this time. "Yes we did, didn't we. And I'm still here." The sky is dark blue now. "We should head back to the Mantis before Cere starts to think we were eaten by bog-rats." He stands and holds his hand out for me. I take it and stand, not letting go until we get back to the ship, so we don't have to face the wrath of Greez's taunting. "I guess I get Jax's room now that he's gone." Cal says."Yeah, I guess so." He reads my expression before opening the door to his new room. "I'll be right next door if you need anything, goodnight Y/n." I open the door to my room. "Goodnight Cal."

I've been laying down for what feels like hours. The Mantis is completely silent, save for the buzz of the air conditioning system. I know it couldn't have been that long because the moons had barely moved since the last time I looked out the window. My body still aches from our run in with the purge trooper. I don't like being alone in my room. I climb out of bed and walk down the short hallway to Cal's room. I knock on the door, almost surprised to hear him respond. "It's open." I press the button and open the door to see Cal sitting cross legged on his bed, his back against the wall. "I couldn't sleep." I say sheepishly. "That makes two of us. Do you want to sit down?" He scoots over and pats the area beside him. I make my way over and sit. "So, do you want to talk, or just sit here?" I shrug. "I don't know, I kind of just wanted the company." I fiddle with the hem of my sleep shirt. "How's your side?" He asks, trying to make small talk. "It's fine, my back is killing me though." He's quiet. "Lay on your stomach." Something inside me twists. "Why?" He laughs quietly. "I'm going to massage your back like I used to on Bracca. You always told me I gave the best massages." I'm thankful for the darkness so he doesn't see my face glowing crimson red. "You don't have to if you don't want to." I let out a breath. "It's fine, I don't mind. I trust you." I lay down on my stomach horizontal to him. He pulls my shirt up to my shoulders, I yelp at the unexpected cold air. "Calm down." He says quietly, amusement clear in his voice. I feel his callused hands moving up and down my back gently, working the knots out slowly. It feels different than the times he used to do it. I let out a soft groan as he rubs a sensitive spot on my back. He pauses for a moment, and rubs the spot again. I release another groan. I know he's doing this to get to me. Part of me doesn't want him to stop. After several more minutes of him rubbing my back, he stops and pulls my shirt down, his fingers lingering on my lower back. When he removes them, it leaves a cold spot. I sit up and see him removing his own shirt. Our work on Bracca sculpted him from a lanky, scrawny boy into something new, something different. He's definitely not the same boy I fled the Empire with 5 years ago. I snap out of my daze. "What are you doing?" I ask. He smirks. "It's my turn." I roll my eyes. "Fine, lay down." He does what I say. I straddle his back. I lay my hands flat on his shoulder blades, feeling the muscles under my finger tips. I begin applying pressure in the same spots on his back that he did mine. He hisses between his teeth, letting me know that where I was touching hurt. I lighten my touch, but a moan still falls from his lips. The noise makes me grow warm everywhere. I could listen to it all night. I apply pressure to the same spot, causing him to do it again. Okay enough. You're enjoying this a little too much. I climb off his back and sit like a child. "Why did you stop?" I shrug my shoulders. He sits up and looks at me. "Are you okay?" I nod. "You have a weird effect on me. I don't know how to feel about it." He furrows his eyebrows. "What kind of effect?" He asks me, half flirtatiously, half genuine curiosity. "I have to sleep Cal." I say to avoid the question. I look down at my hands again. "Come on just tell me, I won't make fun of you." I shake my head. "I can't." He looks almost hurt. "Yes you can. Just say it." I swallow. "It's not a feeling I can explain, because I've never felt it before." He smirks. "Well maybe you could show me?" I roll my eyes. "Not here. This ship is too small and I don't know how well these walls block sound." He leans towards me. I could feel the heat eminating off of him, he still smelled like he always did, leather, droid oil and soap. He rests his forehead on mine. I really did want him, but I didn't know how to say it. I move my hand to rest it on his thigh. Suddenly I'm on my back as he looks down at me, his hair falling in front of him. I feel a thrill being like this, him looking down at me like a predator ready to pounce on it's prey. "How about I show you how you make me feel instead." He purrs. I feel my heart pound everywhere. He grazes his fingers down my arm and I shiver. He moves to the hem of my shirt and pulls it up and over my head. Chill bumps lined my arms. "You are a work of art, Y/n." My stomach flutters. He begins kissing my neck as I twist my fingers into his hair. He moves to my lips, kissing me with more hunger behind it than the last two times. I melt into his kiss, losing myself in it. He pulls away, making me whimper in opposition. He moves his hand to grip my waist but misjudges where his hand is and he ends up grabbing my healing wound. I wince in pain. When he realizes what happened, he sits up, putting as much distance between us as he could while were still in the bed. "Y/n I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-" I cut him off. "Cal, it's okay. I know it was an accident. He looks down sheepishly. "I went too far. I'm sorry. I move in front of him and take his face in my hands, kissing his forehead. "It's okay. I told you I trust you. Let's try to sleep." He nods. When I remember I'm still without a shirt, I make a move to retrieve mine from where Cal tossed it. Before I can get it, Cal hands me his own shirt. I give him a puzzled look, but take it and put it on. It's a little too big, but it smells like him. It smells like... home. When we're both laying down, he wraps his arm around me. "I love you Cal." The words fell from my mouth before I even had a chance to think of them. "I love you too Y/n, goodnight." I fall into a peaceful sleep, glad I'm not alone.


	9. Chapter 9

_"Cal? What's going on? Where's Jax." The girl asked. "He's gone Y/n. He's not coming back." The ginger replies bitterly. "What? What do you mean he's gone?" A moment of quiet. "He left. He had one of the other scrappers tell me while I worked the late shift." Deep down she knew it was coming, she'd felt the tension for months. She hates to admit but she felt nothing._

Mornings on the Mantis were always peaceful and the only sound was the whir from the air vents. I sat up and stretched, wincing at the pain from my side. Beside me was a still sleeping Cal. His red hair was tousled, his face relaxed. I put my hand on his cheek, my eyes tracing the freckles on his face. He slowly opened his eyes and looked at me. "Good morning beautiful." I blush faintly. "Good morning. How did you sleep?" His sleepy green eyes meet mine. "Good, for the first time in a long time, I didn't have the nightmares. Maybe you could sleep in here with me more often?" I smile. "Of course. I haven't slept that well in years either.” I stand and he grabs my hand. “I need a shower." I leaned down an planted a kiss on his cheek. It was coming more natural now, showing affection towards him. Maybe the future didn't seem so dim after all. "Maybe today we can do some exploring, Bogano seems like an interesting place and I only saw the vault. I want you to come with me." It did sound alluring. "I would love to, just tell me when." I'd never seen him so happy. Ever since we joined the Mantis crew, I've seen sides of him that I haven't seen since we were kids training as Padawans. Seeing him that way warmed something in me.

After my shower I used a healing stim to cure the pain that still lingered from my burn. I picked something comfortable for exploring the beautiful planet. Once I was dressed I walked out for breakfast. "Ah, she's alive." Greez says. "So lovebirds what's the plan for today?" I roll my eyes. "Well, I figured you and Cere could make a supply run and me and Cal could do some exploring and find out if Cordova left anything else here." Cere and Greez exchange a look. "Well, we are running low on food. Will you two stay out of trouble?" Cal laughs. "No promises, trouble follows us wherever we go." We eat the rest of our breakfast in silence. After we're done, Cal, BD and I all get off the Mantis. It flies off, scaring away any lingering wildlife. "Alright, let's go." I saw nudging him with my elbow. He leads the way to a small cliff, jumping to the next ledge. I follow suit, careful not to look down. We come to a wall of vines. He starts climbing them, then pauses to look down at me. "Are you coming?" I look at him incredulously. "You're joking right? There's no way those vines are stable." He let's out a laugh. "You'll be fine, I mean they're holding me." I look at him and then the wall of vines. If I die from trying to climb vines I'm so haunting his ass. I walk over and try to find a foot hold. Surprisingly they are pretty sturdy. I follow close behind Cal. We finally reach the top and I catapult myself onto the ground above. I slip and land on my back, knocking the air from my lungs. I struggle to catch my breath as Cal laughs hysterically. I shoot him a look once I can breathe again. I wipe my hands on my pants, cursing myself for being so clumsy. I look around to observe my surroundings, seeing a rusty old bridge that seems to have collapsed decades ago. Cal walks over to a smaller piece of land and jumps over to it. He motions for me to follow. I sigh and follow, despite my growing fear of heights. We make it to what appears to be an arena of some sort, but very small, with a hole in the middle. Cal walked over the hole and looked down. I was iffy about the entire situation and almost regret deciding to go with Cal. There were so many holes. He starts climbing down the vines and begrudgingly, I follow behind. It leads to a small area with water at the bottom. Ugly creatures circled around like they were hunting. "Ready to jump?" I look at him like he had brain damage. "There's no way I'm jumping down there with those things. What even are they?" BD-1 chirps. "BD says they're bog rats." I look at the little droid. "Thank you BD. Frankly Cal, I don't give a damn what they are. They're ugly. I'm not going." He let's out an exaggerated sigh. "Fine your highness. I'll kill them first. Then you can jump down." I shrug. He leaps down and takes out the first one. Then jumps and kills the second and the third. Once they're all dead, I jump down and land beside him. "There's nothing here, can we go? I was expecting... more." He nods. "Yeah, sure. We'll look around. I just wanted to show off my big rat killing skills." He says as he mimics straightening a tie. "Lead the way then, 'O mighty bog rat slayer." He looks around and finds a wall that looks safe enough to run across, that leads to yet another vine wall. We climb and run across the wall to an opening. A metal pipe leads to a smaller ledge. We carefully walk across. We jump down in front of a raised, rusty metal bridge. Cal uses the force to push it down and we walk across. We spot another cave and make our way over. We discover that it's not really a cave but more of a pool. In the center was a rock wall. I calculate how far of a jump it would be for me to make it to the rock in the center, and from that rock to the wall. Before I even had a chance to figure it out, Cal had already jumped into the green water. "Come on, it's nice in here!" I cross my arms. "Don't be that way, it's just water. It'll dry." I let out a breath and jump. The water was surprisingly not cold, but more luke warm. I swim over to the wall and climb up, trying to see where it goes. I find a path going towards the surface. Once Cal joins me at the top, we walk on the path, and find a door. "BD, can you slice this door?" I ask the droid. He chirps enthusiastically. In a matter of seconds, the door opens. We walk inside to find a workshop of sorts. It wasn't anything fancy, just old tools and pottery laying around, and a rickety work bench. We look around for a few minutes, but leave after not finding anything.

After what felt like hours of searching and not finding anything, we make our way back to the landing pad. Greez and Cere still weren't back yet. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a bogling skitter down into a little path. I decide to follow it, something in my gut said I should. Cal follows behind me, I wonder if he had the same feeling. I use my lightsaber to illuminate the small area, not seeing the bogling anywhere. I hear it squeaking and scratching but don't see it. I turn my attention towards a hole in the wall. "Cal, can you make this opening bigger?" He force pushes the metal blocking the way and I see the injured bogling. I grab a snack from my bag and hold it out. "It's okay little guy, I won't hurt you." It cautiously approaches me and sniffs the small snack. It uses its little paws to take the treat from my hand. I hold my empty hand out again. It's little nose twitches, clearly looking for more food. "Cal, I have a crazy idea." He gives me a devilish smirk. "I was thinking the same thing." I slowly reach out and try to grab the bogling without scaring it away. It doesn't seem to be afraid. I slowly pick up the injured creature and pull him out of the hole. I set him down, waiting to see if it would run away. It doesn't. I open my pack, moving things around to make room to smuggle him aboard the Mantis. He moves around a little in an attempt to get comfortable and curls into a ball. He lets out a happy noise. "We should get ready, the Mantis should be returning soon." Cal says. I nod and we make our way back up to the surface. The sun setting was gorgeous. I feel Cal take my hand and give it a squeeze. I don't want him to let go. I intertwine our fingers. He looks down at me, and I flash him a smile. I stand on my tiptoes and give him a kiss on the cheek. His face turns pink. The Mantis comes into view and he moves to make room between us but I tighten my grip on his hand so he can't move away. "I've wanted this for too long, and I didn't think I could have it. I'm not letting you get away that easily." His face lights up. He turns and wraps his arms around me, spinning me around. "I love you, Y/n. I'm never leaving your side." I press my forehead against his. "I wouldn't want it any other way." The Mantis lands and the ramp slides down. I readjust my bag on my shoulders so it didn't look like I was sneaking an animal in. Cere walks out and looks at us. "We have news, you might not like it. Get on board so we can update you." I should have known our happiness would be so short lived.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ones a really long chapter, and there's some ✨spicy✨content ahead. I hope you enjoy 🥰

Once we're back on the Mantis, I go to the dining area to fix myself a drink. "What do you mean bad news?" Cere looks between us. "More Imperials have been sent to Zeffo. They're getting closer to the next tomb." Cal moves to the holotable. "Zeffo it is then. Guess our break was short lived." I hear Greez make a sound of disgust. "Back to Zeffo huh?" Cere moves to her seat at communications. "The empire might have found a Zeffo tomb. We can't waste any time." Cal moves to the cockpit and sits in the co-pilot seat. "Pity. Heard about a high stakes game from one of Saw's fighters. Few extra credits couldn't hurt y'know?" Cere lets out a sharp breath. "Gambling?! Greez use your head. One of these days the Haxion Brood is going to catch up with you." Greez barks out a laugh. "Those slubs? I'll hear em coming from a parsec away." I can tell Cere is getting irritated by his suggestion and cockiness. "I don't need your gambling habit causing us anymore trouble with murderous criminal syndicates." Greez shrugs. "You're right, you're right. I know it. I just wanna blow off some stress every once in a while yknow? Anyways, all that is in the past. I'm sure it won't be a problem." Something in my gut said other wise. I walk over to Cal and place my hand on his shoulder. "Wake me up when we get to Zeffo. I'm going with you this time." He takes my hand and kisses my palm. Flutters shoot through my stomach. "Of course. You'll have to wear one of my ponchos because it's pretty icy." I nod and turn to retreat to my room. 

I change into something that'll keep me warm. When I'm finished changing I sit on my bed in an attempt to clear my mind and meditate. The idea of meditating still scared me, the last time I did, reminders of my failed training ran through my head. I felt the ship leave hyperpace and I knew I wouldn't have time to try meditation. I would tonight. I hear the knock on my door, signalling that it's time for me to make my way out. We get closer to the white planet and soon land on the empty platform. The door hisses open and the ramp slides down, cold air comes through and sends a chill down my body. Cal is suddenly beside me with another poncho in hand. It's the one he had on Bracca. I take it and wrap it around my body, it smells like droid oil and rain. It smells like Cal. It's a little too big, but I'm grateful for the warmth. We walk down the ramp and meet with Cere. "The homeworld of the Zeffo. Cordova must have spent a lot of time here." Cal says when we reach her. "Cordova spent his life studying the history of the galaxy in many different places; dragged me along on a few expeditions. It was... eduational." She responds. "He really believed in the past?" Cal questions her. She smiles fondly. "He believed in the future, but you can't have a future without the past."

Cal leads the way through a door on the other side of the hangar. A small group of stormtroopers is fighting off the local wildlife. We wait until they finish of the two ugly rat like creatures to expose ourselves and fight off the group of 4. We ignite our lightsaber and jump into battle. One of the troopers aims at me and shoots his blaster. I quickly hold up my lightsaber to protect myself, the blaster bolt returns back and hits his shoulder, disabling his arm. I stab my lightsaber through him to prevent him from trying anything else. Once they're all cleared out, we continue up the stone path. "They've really stepped it up." Cal remarks. "Nothing we can't handle." I say, nudging his arm with my elbow. He calls into the Mantis. "Are you and Greez safe?" I hear feedback and Cere's voice. "You worry about the mission, I'll worry about keeping us off the radar. We'll be fine."

We come to a large spinning turbine, Cal uses the force to freeze it so we can run across into the village. He had told me about the village but it's much smaller than I envisioned. I hear several more stormtroopers and alert Cal. But not before they see us and charge. These are just baton troopers, but where they lack in blasters, they make up for in strength. It doesn't take long for us to wipe them out and be on our way. We walk between the small houses, if you can even call them that. Cal walks over to one of the doorways, and picks up a small sack. He gasps slightly, his mannerism changing from cocky to solemn. "Are you okay?" I say, concerned. He nods. "Yes, just caught off guard. Having psychometry lets me feel things that the force has left behind, like remaining energy. The things that happened here... they shouldn't have happened." I forgot that he had psychometry, an ability so rare in force-weilders that they barely taught it in the temple to younglings. I'd heard Master Yoda talk about it once. "We need to keep moving." He says finally. Around the next turn there are two more troopers. We silently take them out, which didn't even matter because I'm sure they knew we were here. We reach a set of stone steps leading to a broken bridge. Cal pushes it down and we carefully make our way across one at a time in case it breaks. He walks ahead, scouting ahead for any remaining stormtroopers. I hear grunting and a thud. I ignite my weapon and prepare to attack. Cal pops back up, causing me to jump in my skin. We continue walking, jumping across a gap that leads to a cave. With Cal still walking in front of me, we enter the cave. It was almost impossible to see, even with BD's flashlight. Cal ignites his lightsaber and I follow suit. It lights up the tunnel just enough for us to walk without falling. We walk, careful of our step. One wrong step and we would be barelling down into the abyss. It had a series of gaps and pipes, making it so easy to slip and fall. After what felt like ages of traversing, we made it to a door. It wooshed open revealing yet another small platoon of stormtroopers. "Intruder there!" I look to my right. A heavy trooper throws a grenade in my direction. I dodge right before it detonates. I'm momentarily stunned from hitting the ground so hard but I shake it off. "You're losing focus Jedi!" Cal sweeps a trooper's feet out from underneath him and jabs his lightsaber into his chest. I pary a blow from a trooper that attempted to catch me off guard. I hit his helmet with the hilt of my lightsaber, his knees buckle beneath him.

Once we finish off the last of the platoon we continue walking and reach an icy slop. Cal jumps down and somehow maintains his balance. I follow behind trying my best to keep from falling onto my rear end. I manage to land on solid ground without severely maiming myself. I look down and gulp. "Y/N, climb on my back." I look at him bewildered. "Come on, I know you have a hard time wall running. You'll be fine. I promise I won't let anything happen to you." I sigh in defeat. He leans down so I can get on his back with ease. I grip onto his poncho for dear life and bury my face into his neck. I feel him run and swing and then thud onto solid ground. Then he's running again but I'm almost sideways. And before I know it, it's all over. "You can open your eyes now. We find ourselves in surrounded by walls, a door to the right of us and a large fan to the right of us. He force pushes the rock wall and makes an entrance for us. We walk in, it's more machine than anything else. We jump down. "Wasn't expecting this." BD chirps inquistively. "It's a giant Zeffo statue. Kinda thought there'd be Zeffo stuff inside." It never occured to me that he could understand BD fluently. It was rather endearing, watching him talking to BD so easily.

As we climb through the monument, we come across a work bench. Cal rummages through the drawers and find something that piques his interes. "A scomp link?" BD jumps off of his shoulder onto the table and bounces back and forth between his feet. He chirps excitedly. "Yeah, you're right. I think I could replace yours with this. Let's get you fixed up." He pulls a welding gun from his belt, something he must have brought with him from Bracca. I watch as sparks come from the little droid. He sits still as Cal repairs what he called the scomp link. "How's that?" He asks. BD chirps happily and Cal laughs. I smile at the interaction. Cal looks around for a minute and then leans on his elbows to be at eye level with the small droid. "Want to try it out?" BD jumps. They walk over the a small control center and the droid jumps onto it. He messes with the console for a moment and a ramp comes across the gap in front of them. "Excellent." I join them on the other side of the ramp. A storm trooper pops up out of nowhere and tries to blast us but his weapon misfires. Cal takes this opportunity to knock the trooper over the rail. We continue climbing up the statue, I push the next trooper over the side with ease. We finally reach a door, and BD unlocks it with his new scomp link. We slide down and go through another maze of tunnels until we find an opening that leads straight into imperial head quarters.

We fight through yet another group of stormtroopers, it was getting easier the more I did it. After clearing the way, we find another door that leads to the outside of the headquarters. "The only way up is to climb. Can you do it?" I nod. Can I? Now isn't the time to doubt myself. Cal jumps and grabs onto a piece of metal sticking out. He starts slowly moving across it. I follow, thankful for the gloves Cere let me borrow. As we reach the next level, my fear of heights starts to kick in. Cal can sense it. "You, uh, know any jokes BD?" He asks, in an attempt to distract me from looking down. The droid beeps. "I don't know. Why?" Times like this I truly wished I could understand Binary. "Ha! Classic." We finally make it to solid ground and I'm not hanging freely. But my joy didn't last long before we had to climb again. "Cal, maybe I should just turn around." I say, freezing where I am. "No, we're getting close. I promise." I sigh. As much as I want to turn and go back to the Mantis, I knew he was right. "There's gotta be some information on their excavation inside right?" BD chirps. "Always looking in the bright side. Thanks buddy." I try my hardest to look straight in front of me at the bar, not down at the empty below me. I don't want to close my eyes and miss my hand hold and fall. We finally reach the top. Cal leaps up and hold his hand for me to take it. "We've got a problem." I look to see what he's talking about. Two stormtroopers were fighting off a massive beast. I drop my voice. "Maybe we can sneak past?" He nods. We start quietly walking behind the beast. But it's too late. It must smell us. It whips its head around and charges us. We jump out of the way just in time. "I'll take the troopers, you take the big guy." Cal nods. I turn and charge the two storm troopers that have focused their fire on me and Cal. "You're dead Jedi." I smirk. "Maybe next time boys." I focus my energy and push towards the trooper closest to me. Suddenly he's over the edge and his screaming is slowly fading. "I don't need help dealing with you." I position myself, ready to deflect his blow. He charges. I block his blow, sending him staggering. He regains his stance and prepares to attack again. I twist out of the way, swinging my weapon. I slice his leg. He grunts but doesn't go down. He tries to knock me off my feet but I stand fast, using this to my advantage. I swing my lightsaber again, grazing his other leg. He falls to the ground. I send my lightsaber straight through his heart. I turn to assist Cal but it seems he's already dealt with the giant creature. "You used the force?" I shrug. "I'm not as rusty as I thought I was I guess." He beams at me. "I could kiss you." I walk over. "Save it for later." He laughs and grabs me by the hip, pulling me towards him roughly. "It was hot seeing you move like that, I'll have to spar with you more often." I meet his green eyes, the same look from the other night in his eyes. He brings his mouth down to meet mine. I savor the kiss, wishing it would never end. We were interrupted by stormtroopers. "I'm getting sick of these guys. We'll continue this later." He says, irritation clear in his voice.

I let Cal take out his frustration on the troopers, watching the way he moved. Neither of us had very much training but it almost came naturally to him. He looked like a predator. He quickly cut through them like they were bog rats. Once it was clear we entered the headquarters through a large door. A force field blocked the entrance to the left of us, and the entrance directly ahead of us was locked on the other side. Our only option was to go right. Unbeknownst to us, it lead to a dead end. The only option was to enter the fan shaft. "Stay here and I'll find a way." I obeyed begrudgingly. He slowed the fan and entered the shaft.

I wait for several minutes, when I hear a voice come through my comlink. "Are the Inquisitors coming?" Another voice, Cere's, answers. "It's possible, but we're far from Bracca. They might think Purge troopers are enough. Or they could be stalling you on purpose. Stay wary." Purge troopers? Great. "Hey Cal? Have you found a way yet?" My comlink beeps. "Yeah. Enter the fan and take a right. There's going to be a a broken wall, go through there. Look to the left and there's going to be an open door and if you jump down theres a ramp. I'll meet you on the ramp." Following directions wouldn't be a problem, but freezing the fan? Another story. If I didn't time it just right I would be sliced into pieces. "Uh Cal? I can't stop the fan." I hear his voice again. "Yes you can, just try." I groan. You can do it Padawan. The voice of my former master rings through my head. Remember your training my apprentice. "Master Hydal..." I closed my eyes and take a breath. I didn't have any problem pushing a storm trooper off of a ledge, I could stop a fan for a few seconds. I reached out, manipulating the energy around me to my will. The fan slowed. I took the opportunity to quickly climb into the opening, not losing focus on the fan. I did it. "Okay Cal, I'm in." I look to my right and see the wall he was talking about. I enter, careful of the jagged metal. I find the door he's talking about and jump down onto the platform. I see Cal standing over the body of a dead trooper. "I hate purge troopers, after what that last one did to my leg." He nudges the body with his foot. "He paid for it, don't worry." I look over at him. "Do you ever worry about the dark side? I mean I think about the things Master Yoda and Master Kenobi taught us. Revenge isn't the Jedi way." He meets my eyes. "I do sometimes. But I trust myself and I trust the force. And I trust you to keep me from losing myself to the dark side. And you should trust me." Of course I trusted him. He was the only person I knew I could trust. Ever since we were kids. He was the only person left in my life. "I trust you with my life Cal Kestis." He smiles and places a soft kiss on my forehead. "Let's go find this tomb."

"Any sign of the tomb?" Ceres voice comes through my ear piece. "No, and the Empire's been stepping up security." A minute of silence. "Keep your focus. Watch out for them BD." BD chirps in response. "Okay, we'll keep looking." The earpiece clicks off. "BDs map says whatever we're looking for is this way. But this way is a one way trip." I look down at the map. "Well we thought Bracca was a one way trip and here we are. Let's go." I look down to see another ice slope. It curved at the end so I couldn't see beyond. I make the decision to jump first. I land on my feet and maintain my balance. I turn my head to see Cal behind me. We end up on a cliff. There were no paths and no cave entrances. "We have no choice but to jump." Cal says. I know he's right. It's impossible to turn back now. "Okay, it'll be cold so brace yourself for it. We jump together." I hold out my hand and he takes it. We walk closer to the edge and he gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. "On three." I take a deep breath. "1... 2... 3!" we jump. The water is like ice. Cal's hand broke loose when he made impact with the water. I kick my feet and break the surface. I look around for the familiar flash of red hair and begin to panic when I don't see it. I turn when I hear a splash and an indignant beep. "Yeah, I know buddy. We don't like it either but we didn't have any other option." He turns to look for me and smiles when he sees me. I start swimming for the closest patch of land. There's an old republic fighter submerged in the water. I swim over to get a better look. "Cal come check this out." He swims over to my side and touches it. He closes his eyes and takes in what energy was left over. "It's from the clone wars." I nod. "We need to enter that crash site, we need to make a fire and try to dry off. It's starting to get dark." I look around. "You don't think there's anywhere more hidden? I don't want to risk anyone knowing we're here right now. And there's another one of those big things." He looks amused. "We can try to find a cave, but I don't know how many we'll find." I shrug. "The least we can do is look."

We decide to split up and look for a cave, wary of the creatures lurking. It was beginning to get dark in the crash site, and it was getting colder. "I think I found something, but we'll have to climb." I hear Cal call out from a few yards away. I jog over to his position and take a look at what he found. A vine hung from an opening in the rocky structure. "Go on up and see if there's any room." I tell him. He reaches his arm up and hoists himself up the vine. I find myself wondering what his biceps and back muscles look like as they flex under his clothes. Hell, I just wanted him shirtless. A harsh wind distracts me from my thoughts and reminds me that my clothes are still wet. "Alright Y/n, come on up." I see him looking down at me, his red hair plastered to his forehead. I jump and grab the rope, my arms burning as I pull myself up. I reach the top and look out. Stars peaked from behind storm clouds. "Any idea how we can start a fire?" I ask, desperate for warmth. "I'll see what I brought with me, I might have something." I'm thankful that at least our packs were water resistant. He pulls out a fire starter, and finds some old material from the cave. He puts them in a pile and ignites it, blowing on it to make it grow. Once it's big enough, he strips off his poncho. I follow suit, draping mine across the floor. "If you want to take everything else off I won't look." I tell him. "That goes for you too. And you know I wouldn't mind you looking." I bat my eyelashes at him. "How do I know you wouldn't sneak a peak." He slides closer to me and brings my chin up to meet his gaze. "I never promised I wouldn't." My stomach does a flip. I move my hands to unbuckle the chest guard he had over his shirt. Once that's off I start on the buttons of his shirt. His hands find themselves on my shirt, unbuttoning it as well. He brings his lips to mine and kisses me hungrily. Once his shirt is unbuttoned I lower my hands to his trousers. He mimics my movements, slipping his hand down into them. "Cal, we have an audience." I say in between kisses. "Shit. BD, sleep mode." The droid powers down and Cal pushes me onto the ground. His fingers find my wet pussy. He dips them inside me, curling them up. I bite back a moan. "I want you, now." I look in his eyes as he strokes me, my hips bucking into his hand. Suddenly he's pulling me on top of him. One hand on my waist and the other twisted in my hair. He grips my hip tightly, causing me to grind into him. He groaned. I felt my core growing warmer. I pulled his shirt the rest of the way off. I kiss down his chest to the waist band of his unbuttoned pants. My hand moved to his arms, memorizing how his muscles feel. I make my way back up and kiss him again. I pull my shirt off, exposing my bare breasts. I'm suddenly extremely insecure and can barely resist the urge to cover myself back up. He kisses my breast, his hand fondling the other side. His tongue traces circles around my nipple. A deep shiver goes down my spine. He makes his way down to my pants and pulls them off. He spreads my legs and kisses my thighs. I feel his tongue and fingers slip inside of me and I stifle a moan. His tongue goes in circles around my clitoris and I arch my back in pleasure. He comes up and kisses my lips. I look down at the length of his erection. I can't say I was expecting that. He carefully slides into me, giving me a moment to adjust. Sure, I'd slept with guys before but none like this. He starts thrusting slowly. Holy shit. He leans his head down and whispers in my ear to say his name. I comply, being louder than I intend to. I feel his breath on my neck, causing me to lose any thoughts I may have had. My heart is racing against his chest. I feel his teeth dig into my shoulder, the pain was extremely enjoyable. I arch my back, moaning. His hand comes around my throat. "Y/n, I'm close." He pants. I meet his green eyes, they shine with lust. "Me too." This spurs him to go faster and harder. My walls tighten around him as I reach my climax. I feel him spill inside of me, letting me know he's done too. He collapses on top of me, breathing heavily. "Y/n... you have no idea how long I've wanted this." I lay my head on his shoulder. "Once we're done with this mission, and we settle down somewhere, you can have me anytime you want." And with that, I close my eyes and drift to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Flashback

5 Years Ago

We sit in the escape pod for what feels like years. I finally pry Cal away from his deceased master and try my best to console him. He holds on to me as if his life depends on it. Jax moves to the pilot seat and tries to find a planet far enough away that we won't be detected but close enough that we wouldn't run out of fuel. He sets a course for a planet in the Mid-Rim called Bracca.

Several hours later, Cal is sleeping soundly in my lap, I stroke his hair absentmindedly. Jax tells me that we're nearing the planet and that I need to wake up Cal. I gently shake his shoulder and his eyes, swollen and red from crying, slowly open. "We're getting close to the planet, we should probably move to the seats." He nods. I stand and hold my hand out for him, he takes it and I pull him up. I take the seat next to Jax as Cal sits in one of the seats lining the sides of the pod. The planet comes into view, and Jax looks for a place to land. He finds an empty patch on the outskirts of what looks to be a city and lands the pod. "We need to bury Master Tapal. I can't just leave him like this." I look at Jax. "He's right, it would be a dishonor. He deserves a proper burial." Jax nods. Cal goes out to find the right place, rain instantly soaking his short red hair. He finds a spot and we start digging, mud cakes our hands. I retreat back to the pod to see if there were any tools that could speed the process, digging with our hands would take hours. I find one shovel. I take it back out to the boys and we take shifts digging until the hole is deep enough. Together, we carry the body of Jaro Tapal and lay it in the hole.

After he's buried, we try to figure out what to do next. Between us we barely have any credits, but maybe it would be just enough for one night in an inn.

"Before we can go anywhere we need to get rid of any evidence of us being Jedi." Jax says. He's right. We help each other cut off our padawan braids, severing our last connection with the fallen Jedi order.

We make our way to the city only to find a crowded and soggy street. We through people, trying to find an inn, nearly losing hope that we would find one. We finally come across one. I take our combined credits and enter. The inn-keeper is a twi'lek male. I approach the desk. "Excuse me, how many nights for three people would this cover?" He looks at me with a deadpan expression. "That's barely enough for two people for one night." I sigh. "Thanks anyway." I walk back out to meet Cal and Jax. "The inn keeper said I only have enough credits for two people for the night." I hand the credits to Jax. "You two spend the night here, I'll go back to the ship." Jax shakes his head. "No, we're not leaving each other. It's too dangerous." I begin to protest when I hear a voice. "You three, get lost!" The voice comes from the innkeeper. A much heavier twi'lek followed behind and cracked his knuckles. I resist the urge to pull my lightsaber out to defend myself, but I couldn't do that now. Or ever. I take the boys' hands and we back off. Jax pulls his hand away, but Cal hesitates. I give his hand a squeeze, and he squeezes mine back before letting go. "What are we going to do?" Jax asks. "I don't know. We can't even find somewhere to stay." We walk in and out of the crowd and find an alley. "We can stay here, we'll take shifts watching. You and Cal sleep first." Jax says, taking control of the situation. "Hey! What are you kids doing back here?" A voice calls out. We turn, ready to run. "I don't want any problems, I don't have anything you can take." The voice says again. I turn to see where it's coming from. An Abednedo, I'd seen some of them on the senate when master Hydal would take me along with her to watch the senatorial debates. "We're not here to steal anything." I hold my hands out in front of me to show that I have no ill intent. "Oh good, I was getting worried. But what are you kids doing back here anyway?" I can't tell him we're on the run as fugitives, so I quickly come up with a lie. "We were slaves on Lothal." I say, thinking of a random outer-core planet that we learned about. "We escaped, and landed here. We didn't have enough credits to stay at the inn and the inn-keep chased us off. So we're hiding here for the night" he looks between the three of us. "If you kids need a place to sleep, you can stay with me. I have a spare room. You can stay long enough to get some more credits." I'm taken aback by his kindness. "We couldn't intrude." He dismisses my words. "It's no problem, really." I look back at Cal and Jax. "Are you sure we won't be a bother?" He nods. "No bother at all. Follow me." I don't sense any negative intentions from him, so I follow. I glance back to see the boys doing the same, but they're clearly still weary. He leads us to a door, opening it to reveal a small apartment. A table in the center and a small kitchen. Two doors lined the wall. "The door on the right is the privy, the door on the left is where you can sleep. There's two beds and some blankets and ponchos in the cupboard. I probably will be gone when you wake up but help yourselves to the food." I open the door and walk in. It's cozy, two beds on either side and a cupboard in the middle. A lamp on a bedside table waits to be illuminated. I walk over and turn it on. "I'll take the floor. You two take the beds." I say, as I move to the cupboard to get some blankets to make a pallet on the floor. Neither argue, they're probably too tired at this point. It's late.

As I lay down on my makeshift bed my mind wanders. What led to this? Why did our own clones just turn on us like that? I don't under stand. "Y/n? Are you still awake?" I hear Cal whisper. "Yeah." I sit up so I can look at him. "I can't sleep either." I couldn't blame him. His master died in his arms. It was still so raw. "Can you lay with me? Just until I'm asleep. I don't want to be alone." I couldn't say no. I needed the company too. I climb into the bed, it was much more comfortable than the floor. "Promise me we'll stick together?" I hear him barely whisper. "I promise Cal. Nothing will separate us." I intertwine our fingers beneath the cover, squeezing it. Moments later, he's asleep, his face relaxed and his breathing deeper. I'm too exhausted to move. "We'll always have each other." I whisper before closing my eyes and letting sleep take me.

I wake up alone. "Cal? Jax?" I sit up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I swing my feet onto the floor, and a chill goes through me. I turn when I hear the door open. Jax sticks his head in. "Great, you're up. There's food in here if you want some." I almost decline but my stomach grumbles at the thought. "Yeah I'll be there in a minute." I stretch and walk out to the privy. I look into the mirror at my messy hair. My eyes are dark with exhaustion. I turn on the sink and cup water into my hands and splash my face in an attempt to liven it up. "Y/n? You okay in there?" I push my hair out of my face. "Yeah I'm good." I walk out into the dining area. "There's some ration packs here, you can pick something out." I nod silently and take a seat with a plate. "Did anyone ever figure out what the guys name is?" Jax asks. Cal responds, a little more life in his voice, but a hint of sadness still lingers. "I did, his name is Prauf. He said he's going to try and find us some work." I look up from the plate I'd just taken. "What kind of work?" He shrugs. "I didn't question him too much. He did offer to let us stay in his home." He does have a point. I'm not going to complain, anything to keep my mind off of yesterday. "So... you're positive we can trust this guy? I mean we just met him yesterday."Jax says, clearly still skeptical. I understand his reluctance, but we couldn't risk losing our only ally. "I don't sense any bad intentions from him. If he starts acting differently we'll leave. But right now, we may have no other choice but to trust him." I say, trying to sound confident for their sakes. Deep down, I hope this is the right decision, that I didn't just ruin our chance at survival.


	12. Chapter 12

Flashback

2 Years Ago

I sit with Jax in the cantina waiting for Cal and Prauf. We're sipping on whatever the drink of the night was, the music not loud but still drowning out the sound of the rain. I look towards the door right as Cal walks in. Lately he's been avoiding me, something not normal for him. I stand so he can take my seat and I pull another chair over. Jax's demeanor changes when he enters the cantina. He's been joking with me before but now, his jaw is clenched tightly. "Prauf went home early." Cal says, avoiding Jax completely. The tension between the two is evident. "Will you two lighten up? We have the next two days off." I wave a over a waitress. "Can you bring some booze over for these brooding gentlemen?" She nods, and saunters off to the bar. "I think I'm going to turn in early." I hear Cal say. I look over at him, trying to read his face. "Cal what's going on with you lately?" I ask him. The waitress returns with glasses and a clear bottle with green liquid in it, and sets them down on the table. I take the bottle and drink from it quickly, it reminds me of the drinks the clones used to slip us when our masters had their backs turned. I take several more swigs then place the bottle back on the table. "Okay, let's go." I say to Cal as I stand up. I pull a handful of credits from my pocket and toss them onto the table. "See you at work Jax." Cal seems hesitant, but gets up from his seat as well.

It's dark when we leave the cantina, but the rain has temporarily stopped. My head was starting to buzz a little bit, but my thoughts were still clear. "Will you tell me what's wrong?" I say without looking at him. He's silent. "Are you having nightmares again?" I ask, still looking forward. "It's..." he sighs. "I can't tell you. It'll cause too many problems." I shake my head. I turn and look up at him, aware of our height difference. His face is scarred, and in the dark I see what look like a tear falling down his face. I reach my hand to wipe it away but he turns his head. I put my hand on his cheek and he flinches. I turn his face back towards me. "I don't care how many problems it'll cause. You're my best friend, I can tell when you're not okay. I want you to tell me what's wrong." He closes his eyes. "Jax told me something." What could Jax have possibly told him that affects him this badly. "What did he say Cal?" He shakes his head. "Don't worry about it, I'm sure you'll find out soon enough." I grab his face with both of my hands and force him to meet my eyes. Something over comes over me, maybe it's the liquor kicking in. I kiss him. He freezes. I pull away, realizing what I just did, the mistake I just made."Cal I-" before I can say another word, he grabs me by the waist and pulls me back towards him, his mouth quickly finding mine again. I break away from him, gasping for air. "I need alcohol." I hear him say under his breath. "I have some in my room." He looks down at me. "What if Jax comes back?" I roll my eyes. "You live there too, he'll just have to suck it up." I grab his hand and pull him down the street to our apartment.

"Why do you have-" I cut him off "Don't ask questions you won't like the answer to." He shrugs it off. "Do you remember when the clones would sneak us drinks? Master Hydal would get so mad." I say, my words slurring. I laugh at how funny my voice sounds. "You really should be careful what you say." Cal says. He hasn't had as much to drink as I have. "You really need to drink more, it'll loosen you up a bit. You're not fun." I say. "One of us has to be sober." He says in response. "Suit yourself hot stuff." I take another swallow from the bottle in my hand. "Ya know you're a pretty great kisser." The words fall from my mouth. In this moment I don't care. "Okay, I think you've had enough to drink." Cal says, making a move to take the bottle from me. "I'll stop drinking when you're drunk." I say with a giggle. "You're lucky I-" he stops himself before he can finish his sentence. "I am lucky, I get to see you all the time. All the girls stare at you and I just laugh cause you don't see them." He stares at me and drops his voice to a whisper. "Give me the bottle y/n. Now." I snort. "Yes sir." He takes the half empty bottle from my outstretched hand. He takes a sip, wincing as he swallows. He drinks again, and doesn't stop. I silently stare. My head is spinning now, and I'm so in love with the feeling. Before I know it, the bottle is empty. "You better not remember this in the morning." In an instant, I'm on my back, staring into the eyes of my best friend. I twist my hands in his hair. It's softer than I remember. His eyes flutter shut. "If you only knew what you did to me." He plants a kiss on my forehead. He stands and hold his hand out for me. When I stand, I feel light. My legs wobble and give out under me. Cal catches me before I fall. He picks me up and carries me to my bed, laying me down gently before pulling my blanket around me. He turns to walk out the door, but I grab his sleeve. "Stay, please." I can tell he's torn between staying with me. "It'll be like when we were younger." He lets out a sigh, sitting on the edge of the bed and takes his boots off, placing them off to the side somewhere. I scoot over for him and he slides in next to me. I curl beside him, his body is unbelievably warm. He wraps his arm around me. The last thing I hear before I fall asleep is his voice, saying Jax was wrong.


	13. Chapter 13

I'm not sure how I ended up in a cell, or how long I've been here. The last thing I remember is getting into an argument with Cal, leaving and being hit across the head as I tried to go back to the Mantis. I shiver. I wish I hadn't run off, I wish I had listened to Cal when he said to stay with him. Regret tore a hole in my chest and buried itself there. I might never see him again and the last words I said to him were laced with venom. I can't believe my last memory was falling asleep in his arms, only to wake up and be told that it shouldn't have happened. I was so filled with anger. But I would give anything to apologize to him, to unsee the look in his eyes when I told him I'm not coming back. My hands tremble and my eyes sting as tears form. I yell out in frustration. I have to be strong, I have to find a way out. That's what Cal would do. I reach to my side to get my lightsaber for a little bit of illumination only to find that it wasn't there. I push my hands through my hair, flinching as I rub a knot that was forming on my temple. I think. What would Master Hydal do in this situation? _Wait._ I hear a voice whisper. I turn to see where the voice came from only to find myself alone. Was that in my head? _Yes._ "Master?" It's quiet again. "Great, now I'm hallucinating my dead master's voice." I laugh. I keep laughing until I struggle to breathe. "Oh my god I really am losing it." I say out loud when I finally catch my breath. _Wait._ I hear again. "There's no way I'm waiting here, I'm going to find a way out." I say. I walk over to the bars, separating me from the other cells. They weren't big enough for me to squeeze through. "Alright BD we need to find a way out." I hear a familiar voice speaking. "Cal! Is that you?" Brief silence. "Y/n?!" I let out a breath of relief. "I'm down here, can you help me find a way out?" Approaching footsteps. I finally see him, his red hair disheveled. He runs to my cell. BD fiddles with the panel for a minute and the bars slide open. I leap into his arms, burying my face in his neck. "How did you get here?" He asks, stroking my hair. I pull away. "After I left and I was going back to the Mantis I was jumped by bounty hunters. They knocked me out and that's the last thing I remember. How did you get here? How long has it been?" He scans face and looks at the lump on my temple. "It's only been a day. I was jumped too. They shocked me and took my lightsaber, I assume they took yours too." I nod. We're both quiet for a minute. "Cal I'm sorry. I should've have reacted the way I did." He pulls me back to him. "I know. You were just angry. When I said I regret it, I just meant that I regretted the fact that I couldn't make you comfortable. I didn't think our first time would be in a cave." I look up at him. "Well from now on we won't have to do it in a cave. If you still want to." He caresses my cheek. "I think we need to take it slow first before we do anything else. We still haven't made anything official yet." I nod. "When we get out of here." He smiles and places a soft kiss on my forehead.

We roam the underground prison for what feels like hours when we finally hear music. "Hey, I recognize this band." I hear cheering. Weird. We walk to the large door. The music and clapping gets louder. We enter an arena. A large projection appears in front of us. "Ugh, they FINALLY arrive!" The man in the projection says. "We had action on how long it would take for you two to get here." I don't like this guy already. "And who are you?" Cal growls. The sleazy man laughs. "Who am I? I'm Sorc Tormo baby!" The crows roars. "I'm the boss of this operation. You have Greezy Four Arms to thank for bringing us together." I roll my eyes. "We will, as soon as we get out of here." Cal says bitterly. Sorc Tormo turns to face the crowd. "We have two SPECIAL challengers for you tonight. Enforcers of a bygone era. Jedi! Let's see what they've got!" More cheering. "Oh, someone get babies their toys?" Our lightsabers fall from somewhere above us and the projection disappears. I catch mine mid air, igniting it as soon as it touches my hand. "You want a show? We'll give you a show." Cal growls. "I smell blood and money!" I turn to see a cage sliding open. "Tonight we celebrate those fallen challengers of the past. And the great sacrifice they've made to make us all...RICH!" I roll my eyes. "I'm getting real sick of this guy." Cal lets out a laugh. I turn just in time to slash a flame beetle out of the air before it could sting me.

We work together in perfect harmony, back to back. Every time we defeated one creature, three more would emerge from the side. He stopped sending in more. "You get the hang of it quick." I hear over the speakers. "Maybe you should come down and face us yourself." He laughs. "I'm too busy counting my credits." BD chirps. "I agree, he talks too much." A cage rises from the ground. More monstrous creatures exit. We quickly dispatch them, but more keep coming. It feels like we've been fighting for an eternity. Exhaust was starting to kick in. "You think that was hard? Just wait. The best is yet to come." I push my hair back, sweat making it stick to my forehead and neck. "You sleazy bastard, you'll pay for this." I yell up at him. This causes him to laugh. "I believe you know our next challengers..." He chuckles darkly. "The Haxion Brood are gunning for ya." A large droid jumps down and lands, causing the ground to shake. It takes a large step and brings its robotic arms down. I roll out of the way just in time, avoiding being smashed into a pulp. Cal is behind it, swinging at its metal legs. It fired several blasts and I tried my best to dodge but one grazed my arm. I cry out in pain, but quickly regain myself. I try my best to ignore the pain, turning it into anger and fuel to beat this thing. The fight goes on forever until we finally slice through the legs and it topples over dead. "One of my best clankers!" Sorc Tormo cries out. The crowd boos. His voice barks through the intercom again. "What do you mean incoming?" I look up to see the Mantis crashing through the arena. "It's the Mantis! Blast it!" The large crowd is screaming in panic. The ramp of the Mantis slides down and Cal grabs my hand so we can make a run for it. "There is no escape! I will chase you across the galaxy if I have to!" That's the last thing I hear before the ramp slides up and the Mantis lifts off again.

Once we're safely back in the ship, I collapse on the couch and BD brings me a stim. I hear Cal in the cockpit. "Hey Greez, you're famous down there." Greez laughs awkwardly. "Yeah, they're an... ugly group huh? They smell like used droid oil." He's quiet for a second. "At least you two are okay." Okay was a slight over exaggeration, alive was more like it. "A complication we could have avoided." I hear Cere say. Luckily we found you." I walk to the kitchen to get a drink, not realizing how thirst I was. "We have another complication. The empire knows about the holocron." Cal says shortly. "That's not good. The entire mission is now at risk." I take another swallow of my drink. "And I had a nice chat with the second sister. Trilla." I freeze. Cere is silent. "What did she tell you?" Cal is quick to answer. "She told me-" His voice is different now. "She told me you betrayed her to the empire." I drop my glass, waiting for someone else to speak. "Is it true?" Cere tries to defend herself. "She'll say anything to jeopardize this mission." I can sense the anger radiating from Cal now. "Is it true?!" You could have heard a pin drop. I almost feel bad for Cere, but I also feel lied to. "She was my apprentice. Before the purge." She's trying her best to be calm. "You should have told us." His voice is less angry, but I can still feel his frustration. Greez speaks up. "We're getting an encrypted message from Kashyyyk." Cal looks between the two then walks over to the holotable. He clicks a button and a projection of the freedom fighter from last time appeared. "Mari." The projection shakes. "Cal. We found Tarfful and he is willing to meet you. But that's not all..." Her voice breaks almost unnoticeably. "The Empire overran our position at the refinery. Saw retreated off-world." Why am I not surprised. "Some of us have joined the Wookiee fighters in the forests. Be careful." He nods. "You too." He presses the button and the projection is gone. He turns to look at Cere. "Later." He nods again. "Later. We have our lead." Cere walks past him and retreats to her room. I feel conflicting emotions from her, but mostly guilt. "Okay. This is fine. Everything's gonna be fine." I hear Greez saying to himself. I set my glass down and walk over to Cal, resting a hand on his bicep. He turns and looks at me. "Why don't you come shower with me, it might make you feel better." I say, looking into his green eyes. He runs a hand through my hair. "I think I'm just going to sleep. Next time though, I promise." I pull him into a hug. "That's fine. Get some rest. I love you." He stiffens at the words, I know he's still probably not used to hearing them. "I... I love you too y/n." I place a kiss on his cheek and turn so I can get a shower.

When I get out, I go back towards my room and see Cal sleeping on a cot in the engine room. I decide I should let him stay there, I shouldn't risk waking him up now. I lay down in my bed and let sleep take me.

I'm not sure how long I was out, but I'm awoken by voices. I get up and press my ear to the door. I hear Greez and Cal. "-before you came around all I cared about was a tight hand on a stiff heater." Greez says, hurriedly. "That's a game term." Cal huffs out a breath, I assume it was a laugh. "I know what it is." It's quiet again. "Cal, life's not a game." He sighs. "Before you three all I care about was my self. Easy money. Now it's different." I hear something creak, then hear footsteps walk by. Then heavier foot steps. I quickly back away from the door and climb back into the bed, closing my eyes. I hear the door whoosh open. I turn to see Cal. I pull the blanket back to he can climb into the bed. He slides in beside me. Neither of us a say a word. He wraps his arm around me and we both fall asleep.


End file.
